I don’t know…

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I’m struggling at the moment.

Because I reflect (a lot) on how I am feeling, what I am thinking and how these things differ from one context to the next that usually gives me strong insight that leads to action. At the moment though… I feel immobile.

I know why I am here; to create happiness.
I know who I am; I am enough.
I know what I value and believe; awareness + reflection = insight + (self) control = (informed) choice + reflection = (better) choice(s) + reflection = happiness
I know what I do; I’m attentive, I think, I share, I challenge, I question, I’m curious.
I know where I do this; nearly everywhere.

Yet… I am struggling

There are opportunities for me to do achieve what I want, be who I am, that fit with my values, mean I can do what I do best…. And take me on two very different directions.

If I was to ‘thin slice‘ it I know what I want to do for me. The trouble is the ‘why’ I am here… To create happiness. That happiness isn’t just for me, it’s for my family, for the people I interact with, for the organisations I support.

Being immobile isn’t me, that doesn’t feature in any part of who I am. So for now, the insight… I don’t know… The self control… To accept and enjoy that… The choice… I will make my informed choice… When I am ready.

What do I do…… I don’t know…. Yet.

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8 responses to “I don’t know…

  1. To create happiness is a result of your why…maybe your why is:
    I believe in making a huge difference in everything I do, see or touch. To show people around me how things can be..how they can be. I believe in challenge, in feedback, in creativity…the results are happiness for me and all around me,

    • I agree the results are happiness and maybe the ‘making a difference’ part of me needs adding explicitly. Thank you for your kind comments too. 🙂

  2. or what it’s worth, here’s what I think:
    I think you hold all the answers you need….
    I think immobilisation is a vital part of any process of change – grinding to a halt for long enough to see the landscape around you and finding a path ( easy or hard) that is a good one for you next.
    I think this blog will be part of what will re mobilise you – that to articulate is to begin to conquer and understand.
    I think that you can’t control everything, or anything really, and that we set and intention, a hope, a direction and strive to follow that as best we can and what happens in our lives and environments will derail or aid our success, mostly irrespective of our will.
    I think it is possible to be too self aware
    I think take your doubts seriously and yet not seriously at all
    I think trust yourself.
    I think I think too much.

    • I wonder if I think too much too Jools 😉

      The blog does help (as is often the case) and I need to properly survey the landscape. The immobilisation is frustrating and necessary.

      Trusting myself… I am finding hard as I worry that I’m being (too) selfish.

      Plus, I need to get clearer on outcome(s) so I know what I may be moving towards. To a certain extent, that is out of my hands.

      Speak soon

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