Really, I do!
First there is the word itself. It has soooooooooo many associations and connotations linked to it that the instant you say the word to someone it puts up a huge barrier. Are barriers helpful to communication? No! Then why put one up?
Then there is the almost over zealous fascination we have with telling people that they have done something wrong or need to do it better. Even though someone may have done something 90% correct, we feel the need to tell them about the 10%. Are you always 100%? No! So why put up another barrier to future communication?
Next there are those egotistical assumption(s) that a) what we think is right and b) that the other person doesn’t already know it could be better. Does it p*#s you off when someone tells you what you know already? Yes! Then why p*#s off other people?
In my humble opinion, we can do better. As human beings, we are at our best when:
– Others tell us what they like about us and/or what we do well.
– We feel happy and proud of the achievements we make.
– Others truly value us as individuals and the contribution we make.
Let’s put some time, effort and energy into really focussing on what others do really well and then go even further to tell people, explicitly, in detail, what they did, how they did it and what it meant (to you, the company, a customer, a client). That way I know:
– what exactly I did that made a difference
– the difference it made
– that you (as the person telling me) value me and/or what I did
– how to get this lovely feeling again, by doing more of the same
If you do need to talk to me about something you think I needed to do differently or better, start by asking me what I think needed doing differently or better, I probably know already. That way, I will be more likely to want to change it.
Maybe, just maybe we can stop creating barriers and begin to focus on achievements and getting me to do more of what I am good at!
What do you think about feedback?
Can we get rid of it completely?